Because of Saint Valentine's
by Lehrohon-hime
Summary: Sasuke's been swarmed by fangirls camped at his house. To escape, he heads to the one safe place he can. Naruto's. There Sasuke realizes his feelings, but does Naruto feel the same? What about Sakura? More importantly, what would the fangirls think? S/N
1. When fangirls attack

Yeah yeah, I know. 'A Valentine's fic? In April?'. Well I started this on Valentine's day and it's still not done (my stupid mind makes more plot every day.) but I decided I'd upload it now just to see what people think.

* * *

**Title:** Because of Saint Valentine's.

**Authoress:** Lehrohon-hime

**Next upload:** Two weeks from now (April 23).

**Pairing:** NarutoXSasuke

**Genre:** Romance/Comedy

**Rated:** T

**Why:** Language.

**Warnings:** Bad language, possible murder of grammer, rabid fan girls, and two hot guys put into awkward situations... together... (Muhahahahaha)

* * *

Sasuke was annoyed, more than usual this time. 

It was that accursed day again. The day that the Devil himself must have invented. The only day that gave his fan girls the right to take their insane obsession with him to new heights; when he was, not only, constantly bombarded by people screaming and confessing their eternal love for him, but he also had thousands of chocolates, flowers, candies, and many other things, chucked at him.

That's right. Valentine's Day.

The torture had begun that morning.

As he awakened he pulled himself out of bed, still worn out from yesterday's mission. He took a step away from his bed and heard a crunch beneath him. He picked up his foot to reveal a squashed box of chocolates. It was only part of one of the many piles of Valentine's gifts that Sasuke had in his room. He surveyed his room thoughtfully _'Did the piles grow since yesterday?'_ His eyes darted suspiciously around the room, searching for a cause. Surely it wasn't Valentine's already.

He shook his head and grabbed his clothes. _'Kakashi told me yesterday that it's on Sunday, not today,'_ he reasoned.

He headed to his bathroom to take his morning shower. He turned on the water and ran his hand under it, then, twisting a tap, waited for the water to warm up. As steam began to rise from it, Sasuke pulled a knob, and a stream of water burst from the showerhead. He'd taken a step back from the tub and begun pulling his shirt over his head when he heard a scream, loud and shrill enough, to make the dead cover their ears in pain.

He whipped around and looked out his window. There, watching him, were three girls, all of whom were obviously his fans. One was hyper-ventilating, one was drooling slightly, and one was becoming scarlet as a blush ran over her cheeks. The one that was hyper-ventilating screamed again and began jumping up and down, turning in circles, flapping her hands. Sasuke quickly turned off the water, grabbed his shirt and walked out of the room, closing the door soundly behind him.

After that he vowed that he was not going to go in that room until this madness was over. After another near fan girl miss when he tried to change in his bedroom, he decided that wasn't safe either, so he changed in the only room without windows: his closet.

It had been a long three hours since then and the fan girls hadn't left. In fact, their number seemed to have grown. He was beginning to have trouble seeing his lawn.

He was also seeing a lot more of his mail man than he was used to. He would arrive every ten minutes and it would be like a parting of the red sea. As the girls saw the faithful postal worker, loaded with cards, candies and every other valentine thing you could think of, they would part, leaving a huge gap down the center of Sasuke's lawn. The worker would then knock on his door and be directed to place whatever it was he had in Sasuke's bedroom or any other room he wished. He would then exit, after a quick thought on how lucky Sasuke was and at what age he must have lost his virginity.

The brunette lounged on his couch and looked out his living room window at a young fan girl peeking in.

"Sasuke! I LOVE you!" She screamed.

He sighed and pushed himself up. The fan girl let out an excited squeal. Sasuke stretched and leisurely walked over to the window where the young fan girl was standing. He gave her a smirk, then slammed the window shut and closed the blinds.

He turned and walked back to his couch. He slumped down and covered his ears already anticipating his mistake.

"He smiled! At me! He loves me!" the girl screamed outside his closed window. "He really does!"

"Oh my GOD! Really? You are so lucky!" shrieked a second girl.

"No way! You have got to be lying!"

"No! I swear to GOD! He smiled! At ME!" the first girl screamed again.

"You are SO LUCKY!"

"I wish I were you! What did it look like?" screamed a familiar voice. "I bet it's dreamy!"

"Oh Ino, it was! So sweet and amazing and, and," At this point in time the fan girl lost her ability to pronounce actual words and resorted to the high pitched squeal for which all fan girls are known. Hearing the first squeal the other fan girls joined in, all thinking of Sasuke and his 'sex god-ish-ness'.

The sex god in question sighed in exasperation. Why did he have to smirk at that girl? It only encouraged them. He knew fan girls were incapable of taking any kind of hint. Now there was no chance that he was going to get to leave his home. Every girl out there would want to have 'their' Sasuke 'smile' at them too.

He leaned back and covered his eyes with the back of his hand. '_All I want to do is just crawl into bed and sleep through this sorry excuse of a day_.' He thought. '_But I can't do that either. These stupid fan girls._'

His room was now filled to the brim with pink frilly cards, chocolates of all kinds, thousand of candies, flowers, and a random fan girl who'd mailed herself to him. She was the reason he'd been forced to change in the closet.

She had jumped out when he'd come back from the shower and was about to change. The moment he'd seen her leap he'd knocked her unconscious with a quick jutsu. She was now lying on his bed and he wasn't sure if she was still out of it or just enjoying the thought of being in Sasuke's very own bed.

He sighed and removed his hand from in front of his eyes.

"Sasuke! Sasuke! We love you!" The words from outside drifted into his room. "Sasuke! Sasuke! We love you! Come out! Come out! Whoohoo!"

'_Oh my lord,'_ thought Sasuke, horrified._ 'They've started a chant!' _He covered his face with his hands._ 'That's it. I'm getting out of here.'_

"Sasuke! Sasuke! We want you! "

'_Where can I go?'_ He wondered as he expertly tuned out the mad chanting.

Sakura's place was out of the question. First off he was pretty sure he heard her voice among those chanting, and second off he was pretty sure she'd either try to drug him and rape him while he was there, or spend the whole time confessing her undying love.

He could go to Kakashi's place, but it was Kakashi's fault he was in this mess in the first place. Sasuke also had a feeling that if he went there now he'd walk in on something rather 'adult' involving: two of his former teachers, a bed, and something out of Icha Icha.

Sasuke shuddered. That was not an image he wanted stuck in his mind.

That left only one person.

'_Naruto.'_ Sasuke thought. _'Why didn't I think of him earlier?' _Sasuke mentally chided himself._ 'No one would expect me to be with him on Valentine's Day. Not to mention that he's really easy to bribe.'_

Sasuke pushed himself up off the couch and stretched. "I'm going." he stated with certainty as walked toward the front door.

The front door of Sasuke's house swung open and out he stepped. The chanting stopped immediately as the fan girls became aware of his presence. Sasuke turned around and locked his door behind him. He slipped the key into his pocket and walked down the path. Then it happened.

A fan girl screamed and lunged at him, desperate to grab a piece of her true love. Sasuke casually dodged to the left to avoid her. He watched as she fell to the ground and swung around just in time to see a second fan girl throwing herself at him. This time he stepped to the right. He saw a third girl preparing to leap from the corner of his eye. He turned to face this new threat and was knocked to the ground from behind.

Turning towards the third girl left his back wide open for an attack.

The first girl, seeing this, had risen up and tackled him to the ground. She now squealed in delight as she wrapped her arms around him. She finally had her true love in her arms.

Chaos began.

The other fan girls suddenly leapt into action. They dove at the couple.

"THAT'S MY SASUKE!" was the scream that was heard.

The first fan girl was ripped off and the fans grabbed whatever part of Sasuke they could, arm, leg, head; it didn't matter to them, it was all part of their beloved. The poor/lucky (1) brunette was soon crushed under a horde of insane and hormonal fan girls, fighting over him, all the while screaming out their eternal love and adoration.

In all the yelling, name calling, bitch slapping, and hair pulling, no one noticed the crushed Sasuke disappear into a puff of smoke, or the shadow that raced out of the empty house and into the trees, heading towards a certain blonde's apartment.

* * *

(1) Come on! He's got girls pilled on top of him! I know tonnes of people who would love that.

* * *

Alright! That's it! The end of the first chapter! I hope you liked it! This is my first chaptered fanfic and my second fanfic ever (I am so proud.). 

Please reveiw to help me learn and get better. If you hated it tell me why and I'll try to work out how to fix it. If you loved it tell me why and I'll be very fan girlish about it (not to mention I'll give you a cookie for it!). Also, don't be afraid to say "Leh you misspelled something!" because I misspell words a lot (I'm actually wondering right now if misspell is spelt right sigh).

Anyway,

See ya next chapter!

-Leh


	2. Unexpected Visitor

**Title:** Because of Saint Valentine's.

**Author:** Lehrohon

**Next upload:** Two weeks (hopefully)

**Pairing:** SasukeXNaruto

**Genre:** Romance/Comedy

**Rated:** T for Language.

**Warnings:** Bad language, possible murder of grammer, rabid fan girls, and two hot guys put into awkward situations... together...

**Disclaimer:** I may not own Naruto but I do own my birthday cake! So... Awahaha! And apparently I share my birthday with Iruka! Yay!

* * *

Naruto woke up to incessant pounding on his window. 

"Go 'way, I'm asleep." The blonde called groggily as he covered his head with a pillow.

The pounding continued and he groaned, realizing that it wouldn't stop unless he somehow responded. The boy rolled onto his back, and lay sprawled on his bed, his eyes still closed. He pondered for a moment whether or not to go to the window, and decided against it.

"Whatever you're selling, I don't want it!" he called out, obviously not realizing that, while door-to-door salesmen are annoying, they do not try to convince you to buy their product from a second story window.

"I'm not selling anything, dobe!" Came the irritated reply "Let me in or I'll break your window."

The blonde shot up and whipped the pillow off his face. He looked towards the window where his raven-haired teammate was squatting, looking in at him.

"Sasuke?" Naruto said with wide eyes.

"No. I'm the tooth fairy!" The sarcasm dripped from each word.

"No you're not." The half-asleep boy replied.

The raven rolled his eyes. "Let. Me. In."

The blonde opened the window and Sasuke jumped onto the floor. He glanced around the room disdainfully then asked. "Have you ever cleaned?"

"Shut up! You can leave if it's not to your liking. I didn't ask for you to be here." Naruto said hotly. "I don't even know why you're here, but I'm sure one of your million fan girls would be happy to have you at their house!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "That one on my bed probably wou-"

"WHAT?" Naruto screamed, interrupting him. "YOU SLEPT WITH YOUR FAN GIRL?"

Sasuke leapt at the blonde and covered his mouth. "Shut up. Don't jump to conclusions. I did not sleep with her. She mailed herself to me."

Naruto yanked the offending Uchiha hand away and let his jaw drop. "Somebody mailed themselves to you?"

"Yes. Which is why I'm here. There's a horde of wild fan girls camping outside my house, waiting to catch a glimpse of me. I couldn't even have a shower." Naruto raised an eyebrow skeptically. Sasuke sighed. "They're watching me from my windows. The only way I could escape was by using a shadow clone to distract them."

"Then how did you get changed?"

"In my closet." Sasuke stated, shooting the blonde a look.

Naruto laughed. "You changed in your closet!"

"Your ability to be amused by the simplest thing never ceases to amaze me." He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, that's why I'm here. I need a place to stay for at least today, until my fan girls leave."

"Okay," Naruto said suspiciously "Why'd you come here then? Why didn't you go to Kakashi's place?"

Sasuke sighed and leaned against the wall. "Because dobe, everyone would expect me to go there. They'll swarm his house a couple minutes after they realize I'm gone." _'Not to mention this is all __his__ fault.'_ "I came here because this is where no one will expect me to be. The only risk is if someone comes by." He raised a questioning eyebrow in Naruto's direction.

The blonde smiled and waved it off. "Don't worry about that! No one ever comes on Valentines Day. They're all busy. Even Iruka." He paused for a second, trying to recall what exactly his former teacher was doing. "He said something about a surprise for someone special." He stopped again. "Who do you think the 'someone special' is, Sasuke?"

'_Kakashi, probably.'_ Sasuke thought, but decided not to tell the boy.

"I don't know dobe… But you're sure no one will come?"

_Ding. Dong._

Sasuke raised his eyebrow again.

"Nope. Not anymore." Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head and grinning sheepishly. "Well normally no one does so…"

He turned and walked towards the door.

"Naruto!" Sasuke hissed grabbing his arm and yanking him around. The boy had a slight blush covering his cheeks but the raven ignored it, glaring at him. "Don't tell anyone that I'm here."

"What if I do?" The blonde challenged.

"I'll have to kill you."

"If I don't?"

"I won't kill you."

"You can't kill me, teme!"

Sasuke sighed as the doorbell rung again. _'Whoever's at the door should learn to be patient.' _He thought angrily.

"Down in a minute!" Naruto yelled. "What if I don't?" he said to Sasuke quietly.

"If you don't, I'll buy you ramen for a week." Was the reluctant answer.

Naruto's face lit up. "YESSSS!! Ramen!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto and his one true love- ramen.

Naruto ran down the stairs to the door. Sasuke stood at the top of the stairs, hidden, so that he could hear the conversation.

"What took you so long, Naruto?"

'_Sakura?'_ Sasuke thought. _'Why is she here? She should be with the rest of the girls heading over to Kakashi's house to look for me.'_

"Uhhh… I had to… uhh… finish cooking my ramen. What are you doing here?"

"Ummm…" If Sasuke could have seen her, he would have noticed the slight pink that covered her cheeks. "I was wondering if… if… Sasuke was here?"

"Why would that bastard come here? He's got his fan club at his house right?" Before Sakura could respond Naruto eagerly asked "Ne Sakura! Did you like my Valentine?"

"Your Valentine?" Sakura asked the confusion evident in her voice.

"Yeah! I dropped it off at your house last night."

"Oh. Well, I've been busy with Sasuke. Do you know where he could be? I already checked Kakashi's place and I have a box of chocolates to give him. I made them myself!"

"Can I have one?"

"No! They're for Sasuke! Do you know where he could be?" she repeated.

"If you give me a chocolate I'll tell you."

"Really?" Sakura squealed. "Where is he?"

'_Naruto. You had better not tell her_.' Sasuke thought murderously. _'If you do I'll kill you.'_

"First, give me a chocolate."

Sasuke heard the sound of a box opening and someone (presumably Naruto) crumpling paper. He heard chewing sounds and then quiet.

"Yum. These are good Sakura-chan."

"Of course they are. They were made with love for Sasuke-kun! Now where is he?"

"I don't know." Naruto said. "Check Kakashi's place."

"NARUTO!" a loud smack was heard and Sasuke felt the house shake with the impact. "WHY DID YOU EAT MY CHOCOLATE IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS?"

"Aww, Sakura-chan..."

"Naruto! Why?"

"I saw him walk that way a little while ago."

"Okay." There was a pause before she added. "But if he's not there you're in trouble, Naruto." She turned around and ran off, eager to find her Sasuke-kun before some other wild Sasuke-crazed fan girl did.

"She didn't even say happy Valentines Day." Naruto mumbled under his breath.

He closed the door with a soft click and climbed the stairs heavily, rubbing his face as he climbed. When he reached Sasuke he looked up at him, a huge grin plastered on his face, along with a giant black eye. "You owe me ramen, teme."

"Fine." Sasuke said haughtily. "Can I use your shower?"

"Fine. Do what you want. I'm going back to sleep." Naruto replied, as he turned and walked into his bedroom, shutting the door soundly behind him.

* * *

Hey again! I am so sorry for taking so long to update (I've got a list of excuses a mile long, but I doubt you want to hear them). 

Anyway same deal as before, tell about any mistakes, spelling, grammar, etc. Also reveiws make me want to upload faster so... reveiw! (and stupid flames will be mocked so leave them if you wish to be made fun of!)

Also... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! Yesterday was my birthday, so everyone who reviews gets a piece of virtual birthday cake!

See ya!

Leh

P.S. Thanks to the three of you who reviewed :D I luv you!


	3. Never Drop Your Pants

**Author:** Lehrohon

**Next upload:** in two weeks unless something goes wrong

**Pairing:** SasukeXNaruto

**Genre:** Romance/Comedy

**Rated:** T for Language

**Warnings:** Bad language, bad grammer, and two hot guys (one of whom is naked) in a bathroom...

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto.If I did, there would be more than just an accidental kiss between Sasuke and Naruto XD. A lot more.

**

* * *

**

Naruto sat up, yawned, and then stretched, reaching for the sky. He blinked and looked over at his clock. "11:25" he mumbled. He flopped back down and rolled onto his stomach. "I gonna sleep more." He mumbled, sounding more like a baby then the teenager he was.

The blonde lay prone for a moment before he shifted onto his back and covered his face with his pillow. He squirmed for a few minutes before quieting, then flung an arm out to the side, hand dangling over the edge. He pulled his arm back in and rolled over, face buried in his pillow. He moved his body into a star position, legs spayed, and arms spread out above his head.

He breathed in deeply. Once, twice, and a third time.

He rolled over onto his back, shot up and groaned loudly. Slamming himself back down he closed his eyes. "Go to sleep." He told himself, not that it had ever worked before, but maybe it would work this time.

"Go to sleep." He said again and rolled onto his stomach. He tried, unsuccessfully, to get to sleep once more. He thought of the things he normally did before he went to sleep: '_Sakura, ramen, flowers, becoming Hokage, ramen, ninja training, ramen, Sasuke…'_ Naruto's eyes shot open. '_Sasuke? Where the hell did he come from?_' Naruto wondered.

There was a tingle in the back of his mind, telling him something was amiss. _'Am I forgetting something?' _He questioned. He stared at his ceiling trying to recall the memories just out of reach. Suddenly the light bulb inside his mind turned on. "He came over to escape his fan girls!" Naruto whispered. "That's why I was thinking about him!" He sat up and looked around his room. _'Where is he now then? He said he was going to have a shower, but that was around' _Naruto slowly did the math in his head _'an hour and a half ago. Did he leave?'_

He stretched and rolled out of bed. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Whatever. I can't sleep so I'm getting up."

He walked around, searching his house. When his kitchen, living room and hallway turned up nothing, he sighed.

'_Either he left or he's still in the shower.' _Naruto thought. _'So he must have gone home' _he concluded. _'because who can stay in the shower for an hour and a half?'_

Strangely Naruto felt his spirits dampen at this thought.

He walked down his hall and caught a glimpse of his face in the mirror.

The black eye made when Sakura had hit him was almost gone now, thanks to Naruto's amazing healing abilities. He touched it gingerly and winced. It was still sore and his guess was that it wouldn't be fully healed until the next day.

_I've been busy with __Sasuke_

_No! They're for __Sasuke_

_They were made with love for __Sasuke-kun_

Naruto laughed at himself, and at the echoes of the words Sakura had thoughtlessly said.

'_It doesn't matter.' _He thought. _'Once I become Hokage even Sakura will respect me and I'll have a bigger fan club than that bastard Sasuke does.'_ He smiled at this thought and continued down the hall.

He walked to his bathroom door and paused for a moment. _'Maybe I should knock?'_ He shook the thought out of his head and laughed at himself. _'Who can have an hour and a half long shower?'_

He pushed open the door to reveal an empty bathroom. He sighed in relief and stepped in, just as a very naked Sasuke emerged from the shower.

"WHAT THE HELL!" screamed Naruto covering his eyes.

"FRIG!" yelled Sasuke bending over.

"Y-YOU'RE NAKED!" yelled Naruto with his hands over his face. "They burn! My eyes! My beautiful eyes! You've destroyed them!"

Sasuke grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself hurriedly, ignoring the blonde's whimpering. "What the hell's your problem Naruto? You let me take a shower and then you just barge in. Are you trying to see me naked?"

"No! Of course not! I told you that you could have a shower an hour ago Sasuke. Actually, over an hour ago. How can you stay in the shower that long?" said Naruto facing the wall, still covering his eyes. "My poor eyes will never be the same." He whimpered softly.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Well I have to lather, rinse, shampoo, and condition." He stated simply.

"THAT DOESN'T TAKE AN HOUR!"

"No. It takes longer. How do you think I get my hair like this?"

Naruto still stood facing the wall shaking his head. "I'm scarred for life Sasuke. I'm NEVER going to get that image out of my mind. NEVER. I'll be as old as the perverted hermit and still have it in my mind. I won't be able to look at you without seeing you naked."

"Is that bad?"

"YES! VERY BAD!"

"Hey, it's not my problem you walked in on me." Sasuke shrugged. "My fan girls would kill to see what you just saw."

"I'M NOT YOUR FAN GIRL!"

"Well you act like one dobe."

"What?" said Naruto turning around.

"You heard me. You act like a girl." Sasuke smirked. "Actually, more like one of my fan girls."

Naruto stared at him in disbelief. "That's it teme." He stated. "I'm gonna kill you!" He screamed as he leapt at Sasuke. Sasuke avoided him by stepping lightly to the left. Naruto fell flat on his face.

"See? That's exactly what one of my fan girls would do."

"That's it!" Naruto lunged at the boy, barely missing him this time. Sasuke swung a leg out and tripped the blonde. He slammed into the ground again and Sasuke laughed.

"Never mind, you're not like my fan girls; they're harder to beat than you."

Naruto picked himself up and rubbed his chin. He leapt at Sasuke again and, as Sasuke sidestepped, Naruto changed the direction of his leap. He knocked Sasuke to the ground and both boys found themselves on the floor kicking and rolling around.

The fight would have gone on longer if Naruto hadn't looked down and gasped, alerting Sasuke to a problem.

The gasp had yanked Sasuke's attention away from the blonde and towards where the younger boy was gazing. After he realized what was wrong, his face lost what little color it normally held.

Sasuke's towel was missing.

His gaze moved down to Naruto's. The blonde stared back up at him, his eyes wide.

Sasuke swallowed loudly.

"Oh my god."

* * *

Muhahahaha! Evil me! 

Anyway, I don't think I got this beta'd or whatever so sorry if there are any mistakes.

Also to those who reveiwed...

**I LOVE YOU!** Thank you so much. From now on I'm going to try and reply to reveiws but sometimes I just don't have time. Sorry!

Anyway, if you notice any mistakes, spelling, grammar... You know the drill!

Read again in two weeks!

Ja ne!

-Leh


	4. Why To Never Become Naked

Sorry for the wait guys. My summers are hectic. This hasn't been edited by anyone other than me. If you notice mistakes PLEASE tell me. I don't know what my plans for the next few weeks are so I don't know if I'm going to have internet access; which is why I'm uploading now.

Warning: This gets a bit lime-ish... (I think that's what you call it. Veiwer discretion is advised.)

Disclaimer: No. Naruto is not mine.

* * *

This was… awkward (to put it lightly) for the two boys, but for the casual observer this would have been deemed hilarious. 

Naruto was a very deep shade of red, lying on the floor of his bathroom, dressed in boxers and a shirt, with a very naked Uchiha, hair still wet, on top of him. The silence inside the room was deafening; every breath seemed to resonate. If it weren't for their steadily rising and falling chests, you would have believed you were looking at a picture.

Honestly, the raven wished it were a picture. If it had been, he could have laughed it off, claiming it was a fake, and he was being framed.

Even if it had been someone else he was on, or somewhere else, it would have been okay, he would have made a joke, or an insult, making them feel like they were responsible for themselves being pinned beneath the boy; like they should have been more careful; like they should feel bad for Sasuke, being stuck on top of them. In the end he'd have them on their knees, begging for forgiveness. It could have been funny.

But it wasn't funny, because this was Naruto he was stuck on. Naruto. His teammate, best friend, and rival. The one who he was with more than anyone else. The only one who could get anything even close to a smile from the Uchiha's lips. The only one who wasn't wowed by Sasuke's genius. One of the only people who Sasuke had actually called a friend. The only one Sasuke had ever kissed.

The only one the brunette loved.

Which were basically the two things that Sasuke was thinking of right then.

The fact that he was on top of the boy he was in love with, and the fact that 'accidentally' kissing Naruto would have been no problem.

No problem at all.

He could actually even picture it.

He would lean down and gently press his lips onto the blondes', capturing his lips in a kiss. The blonde would respond happily, asking for entrance into Sasukes mouth. Sasuke would grant his request and reach up to stroke his golden hair, using the other hand to trace a path down Naruto's chest (stopping to circle his nipple with one finger) until he hit the waistband.

He would the brake the contact on the lips and smirk, before slipping his hand into the shorts and-

Sasuke inwardly cursed. What was he thinking of?

Yes he liked the blonde, however this was not that time to be doing that.

He hated the way his body just did that to him.

Kind of.

Only half of him hated it. The other half, the teenager part of him, filled with hormones and murderous intent, liked this. This part of Sasuke liked lying on top of the boy of his dreams, feeling the warm breathe on his neck, thinking of erotic things. This part wanted to go and fulfill his little daydream, and didn't care about the consequences.

The Uchiha part of him, the part filled with pride and an inflated ego, thought that this wasn't right. If someone caught them, the Uchiha name would be forever tarnished. It wanted out, wanted him to leap up and scream at the boy for being beneath him and causing him to be in this predicament in the first place.

It was either he goes with his hormones and does something stupid, or go against his hormones and pass up an incredible chance.

'_God damn puberty,' _Sasuke thought as he tried to make a decision. _'for making this such a hard choice.'_

As the debate continued inside of him, Sasuke couldn't move.

He was frozen on top of a boy, naked and alone.

'_I can handle life or death situations, I can kill without hesitation, hell, I can even survive insane fan girls. Yet I can't get off Naruto. Just great. It's like something about him just screws me over.'_ A mental image filled his head. _'NOT THINKING OF THAT!'_

"S-Sasuke?" came the stutter that broke the brunettes train of thought.

"Hn?"

"Ahh." If Sasuke hadn't seen it he wouldn't have believed Naruto could get this red. "I-I'm j-just w-wondering if, ahh…"

"Hn?" _'Genius Sasuke, just genius. If you can make a noise then you can beat this already!' _An image Naruto's ass being smacked with a paddle filled his mind. _'DAMN IT! NOT THAT WAY!'_

"DO YOU LIKE MEN?"

Sasuke's mind froze. "W-what?"

Naruto was so red he could have rivalled Hinata. Actually, the dobe was beginning to look and talk so much like Hinata that Sasuke was beginning to question if somehow they'd switched bodies. "A-Are you gay?"

Sasuke's eyes widened minutely. "What do you think?"

"Uhhh… Well I think you might be because err…"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Because?"

"You have a bazillion fan girls Sasuke," he started "and instead of doing 'em you run away."

"If I were to do one of them, all of them would want me to do them, and eventually I'm have a (What was it you said? Oh yes. I remember.) 'bazillion' fathers chasing after me for sleeping with their daughters."

"Okay." There was a brief moment of silence. "Well, just so you know, I don't think there's anything wrong with liking men. I mean you're still a person right? It's-"

"Naruto. No."

"Oh… okay then… do you think… you could… get off of me?"

Sasuke had an idea. "No." he stated.

Naruto's jaw dropped. "Why not?"

Sasuke grinned mischievously. He'd just found a way out of this that didn't involve him losing any pride. "I thought you'd be enjoying this. After all, I do believe you're enjoying this." He said, grounding his hips against Naruto's, making the blonde tremble slightly as the Uchiha felt a lump arise in the other boy's pants. "Plus," he said, whispering seductively into his ear. "You're so like my fan girls."

Naruto grounded his teeth together, but couldn't stop another tremble. "I have a crush on Sakura-chan remember? If you've got a crush on a girl you can't be gay!"

Sasuke laughed and continued to irritate that poor boy. "Well, you could be lying." He stated with a smirk. "Maybe you're enjoying this a little more than you'd want me to know."

Sasuke looked into the cerulean eyes and, for once, was insanely thankful for his Uchiha genes. Without them he knew he'd have a major boner right now, perfect for Naruto to see and feel. Just the fact that he could feel Naruto's hardened state against his hip, made him realize that the two touching would have been much too much for him to handle.

"Shut up! Just get off of me teme."

Sasuke only smirked.

"SASUKE GET OFF ME!"

"Okay. Here I was, thinking you were enjoying yourself," commented Sasuke as he slowly climbed off. He smirked to himself as he turned around and grabbed his towel. "Actually, I could feel you enjoying yourself." He said looking over at the blonde whose face was a violent shade of red. He smirked sadistically. "Or were you enjoying me?"

"Shut up teme." Said the blonde as he left the bathroom slamming the door behind him.

Sasuke smirked. The blonde was cute when he was angry.

"Oi. Sasuke." Came the call from behind the door.

"Hn?"

"You owe me ramen."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Dobe. I can't go outside remember? Fan girls." He said as he finished getting dressed and began to dry his hair with the towel.

Sasuke felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up; he could feel the blonde grinning widely.

"Well what if your fan girls don't recognize you?"

"They know the clothes I was wearing this morning. Even if I do a henge they'll still know it's me. They're better at seeing through a henge than you are."

Naruto ignored the comment and Sasuke could feel the smile grow. "What if you don't wear those clothes?"

"What are you planning?"

"You'll see."

"What do you mean dobe?"

But the blonde didn't answer; he had already walked away.

And, unfortunately for Sasuke, he did see. He saw perfectly.

* * *

Yes. ANOTHER cliff hanger and probably forever until I upload next. I'm a horrible author. I'm trying to make the chapters longer, but you'll have to wait a little bit. 

Read and reveiw.

Leh


	5. This, That, And A Guy In Drag

"Where did you get these?" Sasuke asked with obvious distaste. He looked at Naruto and saw the grin on his face widen. Sasuke sighed. "Actually, don't answer that. I don't want to know."

"Good." Naruto laughed, "I didn't think you'd like the answer."

The brunette twitched slightly and turned his attention back to the mirror- and his new 'look'.

After Sasuke had dried his hair and gotten out of the bathroom, Naruto had come up to him with a bag of clothes in hand, and told him to change. The Uchiha had taken one look before turning up his nose and declaring he would not wear them. This earned a retort from Naruto, which in turn received a comment from Sasuke, which eventually escalated into a full-fledged battle of will, and then, in typical male fashion, into a fist fight. (1)

When Naruto had had enough he stated that if the brunette didn't put the clothes on and go buy him ramen, he would blab to every fan girl in the village about where Sasuke was hiding.

After a moment of dwelling on this, Sasuke had decided that the clothes weren't that bad and went back to the bathroom to change.

This is the only reason why, five minutes later, he was standing in front of a mirror, dressed in a short jean skirt, a dark purple tube top, flip flop's, and a very feminine leather jacket.

"I feel like a drag queen." Sasuke complained.

"Oh good." replied the blonde cheerfully. "You look like one. You should henge before you go out or people are going to tell you to start shaving your legs."

The glare he received probably could have killed. The blonde shrunk back a little, noticing the danger he was in. Sasuke could probably kill Naruto before he had a chance to move.

Sasuke turned his attention away from Naruto and towards molding his chakra so he could henge correctly. He made the hand signals and, in a puff of smoke, a girl with long blue-ish black hair appeared where Sasuke had been standing.

This new Sasuke looked into the mirror and ran a hand through her long, luscious hair; glaring at the reflection.

She/he surveyed their body in the mirror; long legs (smooth and slim, with just enough color to give them a healthy glow), perfect hour-glass figure, and a B sized chest. The upper arms were thin but not flabby and the shoulders were dainty. There were not many differences between the two versions of him (people had always said that he looked rather feminine, so he hadn't felt the need to change much). The only noticeable differences were a thinning in the face, an enlargement of his eyes and lips, and a lengthening of eyelashes.

He noticed Naruto's reflection in the mirror. The blonde boy was staring at him; mouth slightly agape, his eyes wide.

"What?" the brunette snapped.

Naruto blinked a few times. "You make a hot girl, Sasuke." He said. "I would totally bang you."

Naruto barely dodged the brush Sasuke threw at him. "Say that again, and when I'm done with you, you'll be the girl here. Permanently."

"Hey man! Don't threaten the manhood! It's not like I'd do you if you were a guy!" For reasons Naruto could not comprehend, this seemed to anger Sasuke more.

"If you keep talking I won't have to threaten them anymore, usurakontachi, because they won't exsist." The glare in his eyes proved the truth of his words.

Naruto's own eyes widened as he covered his crotch with one hand while zipping his lips closed with the other.

"Good boy." The brunette said, looking back at the mirror. He ran a hand through his now shoulder-length hair and studied his reflection carefully. After a while he turned to Naruto who was flipping through a manga, fully recovered from his traumatic experience. "Should I have it up? Or down?"

"What up or down?" He asked, without looking up from the book.

"My hair."

Naruto raised his head and an eyebrow. "Does it matter?"

"Yeah."

"You're not going anywhere special."

"So?"

"You don't need to look good."

"Hn. That's what you think. First impressions are made by appearance."

Naruto waved it off. "Whatever. It doesn't really matter now, does it? You're not going to be meeting anyone."

"What if I do? What if I like them?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow at the other boy. "Sasuke… are you planning on picking up guys while we're out?" he questioned.

"No." He scoffed. "I meant as a friend. Anyway you're the one who said you'd do me."

"Well, I'm not trying to figure out what hairstyle is better, now am I?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned back to his reflection. "Hn. I'll keep it up. It'll get in my face if it's down, and if we're attacked it'll be in the way."

Naruto smiled and leapt at his friends back, capturing him in a hug. Sasuke nearly tipped over but managed to keep his balance, despite the smaller boy on his back. His face reddened under the henge as he tried to push him off.

"Get off me!"

Naruto didn't release his hold. "No."

"Hn. Okay." He said, and ended up throwing the blonde off of him. Said blonde landed with a thump on the bed before bouncing right back up.

"Do you know what time it is?" He asked grinning.

"No and I don't want to know."

"You're no fun."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Did you just figure that out dobe?"

"Don't call me that!"

"I'll call you whatever the hell I want… Idiot."

Naruto clenched his fists. "Arghhh… Teme! I'll beat the snot out of you!" He spat out.

Sasuke laughed. "I'd like to see you try." He said as he slid easily into a taijustu stance.

Naruto looked him up and down before laughing, the argument already forgotten. "Normally I would, but I don't like to punch cross-dressing she-males."

To Naruto, the fist came out of nowhere, and slammed him in the face. He fell to the ground and stared up at the female version of Sasuke. "Hn. Well… I normally don't punch girls, but for you I'll make an exception."

Naruto rubbed his jaw, but did not rise to the bait. _'God he hits hard.' _"You need to practice man."

Sasuke shot him a _'what?'_ look.

"Being a girl. You need to learn to be more feminine."

"And how, pray tell, do you learn such a thing? Are we giving each other make-overs?" The Uchiha raised an eyebrow.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Girls eat, walk, talk, and act, differently than us guys. I mean, when was the last time you heard a girl talk about how hot someone was, or would be, in bed?"

He didn't answer. Naruto doesn't need to know some of the things that Sasuke overhears when there are fan girls about.

The blonde continued, "Also when was the last time you heard a girl belch after eating, or a saw one take a grab at a guys ass?"

Once again Sasuke remained silent. Fan girls can be terrifying things. "I get your point. Can we continue already?"

"Sure." Naruto nodded. "The first thing you need to know how to do is walk like a girl. Let me see."

Sasuke stood and walked across the room.

Naruto sighed. "We have a lot of work to do. Now," He looked down at Sasuke's feet. "I gave you flip-flops because they're easier to walk on then stilettos so-"

"How are they easier?"

Naruto sighed. "Stilettos kill the toes. When you're walking your feet get scrunched up and your toes are squished into the toe of the shoes. Your toes kill and the first time you wear stilettos you get blisters all over. It's almost like learning to walk again. You're basically balanced on a three-inch stick and your toes. Not that fun." Noticing Sasuke's blank stare he asked, "Get it? Or is this too much for your genius mind to comprehend?"

Sasuke scowled. "I get it, but what I don't get is how you know all this."

"Perverts." He said and left it at that. "Now I'm going to go back to explaining how to walk. Okay?" He asked the boy-turned-girl. She/he nodded. "So, girls walk differently. When they walk, they have more grace which means it's more… delicate."

"Hn."

He paused for a moment, thinking. "Also their hips move more. You got that?" The blonde asked.

Sasuke shot an _'are you stupid?'_ look at Naruto. "It's only two things."

"Okay then show me."

Sasuke walked across the room, one foot in front of the other, hips swaying almost seductively. Naruto felt his eyes travel down to Sasuke skirt and his pants slowly begin to tighten. He bent over and tried to make it look as though he were fixing his sandal, trying to get his thoughts together.

'_Shit. Something tells me you're not supposed to be turned on by your best friend, even if he __is__ dressed as a girl.'_

"Sasuke." Naruto said, his voice catching slightly. "Can you walk across the room one more time?"

The raven nodded and proceeded to do what was asked of him.

Naruto nodded his head. "There's a problem."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow expectantly. "Well?"

"It's the way your feet touch the ground. It's too…" He paused searching for the right word. "Heavy."

"Heavy?"

"Yeah. When girls step, they step lightly. It's almost like they're stepping on their toes and then going to their heels."

Sasuke sighed. "Is this 'practice' all about how girls move?"

Naruto thought for a second. "Mostly."

Sasuke sighed and walked to the window, activating his sharingan, as he did so. He started at the first lady walking down the street. She was in her mid-20's with short brown hair, and walked arm in arm with her boyfriend. As Sasuke stared he slowly felt his sharingan memorize every movement. As it finished he turned back to the room and stated, "We're going." Before grabbing his wallet out of his pants.

"You got it?" Asked Naruto, surprised.

Sasuke gave him a blank stare, showing him the sharingan.

"Oh." The blonde said faintly. "Right."

And they walked out the door into the night.

I know. I suck. It was about two years of no updates and now this? Some of you must want to slap me. Feel free. IF YOU CAN FIND ME! (and as long as it doesn't hurt.)

Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to get writing at an even pace and make this story better than ever before. :)

-Leh


End file.
